Y for You

9:07:00 PM

In this entire series, we’ve been looking at various values that one ought to possess in order to build strong lasting relationships with people. Now, we must remember that just by practicing these values may not help in building strong relationships with everyone. But it will help us understand and connect with others better and as a result understand ourselves.

What’s important is not how other people relate to us, what’s important is how we relate to others. We can’t control other people’s actions and reactions but we can control ours. We can’t determine how they feel about us but we can determine how we feel about them. The most important person in any relationship is you.


This is why it is very important to accept yourself for who you are. We cannot build strong relationships with others if we don’t have a strong relationship with ourselves. Every one of us has insecurities and issues that we wish we could change about ourselves. Sometimes we allow these insecurities/ issues to get the better of us and we feel insignificant and worthless in the eyes of others. Often times it undermines our ability to reach our highest potential.

Like any Marine, Scott Winkler travelled to Iraq knowing that danger was part of the equation. However, he never suspected to find it lurking in the back of a supply truck. While unloading a fifty-pound box, Scott’s leg became caught in a strap, and he collapsed to the sand, landing on his back with his torso grotesquely contorted and his knees facing the earth. Surgery could not repair the damage, leaving the young man paralyzed. Initially experiencing bouts of depression, Scott finally reached a place where he said, “Enough is enough.” Unwilling to stay on life’s sidelines, he began training for the Paralympics. Within two years, he held the world record in the adaptive shot put and took part in the Beijing Paralympic Games.

There was nothing Scott could do to change his condition. However he refused to let a tragic accident define him. He believed that he could still achieve despite his disability and that made him a success.

What is important is coming to terms with who we are. When we do that, we are able to focus on our strengths and develop them enabling us to become secure in ourselves.

Take Away Principle: We cannot build strong relationships with others until we’ve built a strong relationship with ourselves.

Tips on building yourself:
1.      Understand that you are unique.
2.      Increase your value by trying to fix those things which are within your power to change.
3.      Do not allow circumstances or situations to define you.
4.      Come to terms with your weaknesses.

5.      Work on your strengths and develop them.  

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  1. Interesting, true and inspiring Danny :)

  2. So true. One needs to be in love with one's own self...The story of Scott is the ultimate inspiration. Thanks for sharing this..

  3. Scott is an inspiration ! Loving oneself is important, and as long as it doesn't give way to selfishness, it is a boon because we can then selflessly give ourselves to others !

  4. Having a healthy relationship with oneself is the pre-requisite for having a healthy relationship with anyone. A very good reminder, Danny! Thanks!

  5. Wow! That's one inspiring story! We must truly believe in ourselves and never underestimate the power in us!!

  6. Your tips are excellent and your post inspirational. A very good example of how when there is a will there is a way.

  7. Yes for love of God and be our life with the Holy Spirit through Christ and see how beautiful joy are to experience care of God over us self and we wil increase our mind to love all our neighboe around us in Jesus name ,thanks and bless,keijo sweden

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