C for Communication
7:33:00 PM
Author John Ortberg
writes, “If we are going to be in a personal relationship with someone,
there must be some two way communication. Even the most uncommunicative husband
has to grunt every once in a while or it isn't a marriage – it’s a monologue.”
Can you imagine being
in a relationship with someone where you just couldn't communicate anything?
Not only would it be torture, but the relationship would be nonexistent! For
any relationship to exist, communication is vital. It is what will take the
relationship to a whole new level.
C-Communication
We live in a
generation where people can text faster than they speak. Thanks to platforms
like Facebook, Twitter, mobile texting etc. we get to put forth words and
communicate to a great extent. But communication is more than just
words.
In his book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”, Dr.John C. Maxwell observes an important discovery made by Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA. The professor did a study and found that face-to-face communication can be
broken down into three components: words, tone of voice, and body
language. In situations where feelings and attitudes are being
communicated,
·
What we say accounts for only 7
percent of what is believed.
·
The way we
say it accounts for 38 percent.
·
What
others see accounts for 55
percent.
So that means in order
to communicate effectively in any relationship, we've to put in much more than
a few words. I believe what makes the difference in effective communication is
in the spirit of the person. In the right spirit, we tend to use the right
words, the right tone and the right body language.
Take Away Principle:
Communication is vital to sustain and take forward any
relationship and effective communication is more than just words.
Tips on Communication:
1. Never try to discuss important issues over social media.
2. Schedule times to sit down face to face with those you're close to.
3. Always choose a place with minimal distractions. (For example: Avoid restaurants which have a huge LCD TV)
4. Make eye contact while communicating as much as possible.
5. Wait until the person has completed speaking before responding. Don't interrupt.
38 comments
Spot on, Danny ! The eye contact is very important. So is the way we communicate. So many relationships have gone sour due to lack of communication, and many divorces could be avoided, if only this C was perfect !
ReplyDeleteHey thanks a lot Sreeja! Yeah, you said it rightly! Lots of divorces could be avoided if C was perfect!
DeleteI need to learnt his really. With blogging taking so much of my time, I have to get some free time for communicating in all my relationships..
ReplyDeleteRicha
Yeah, this was an eye opener to me too! SOcial Media has done away with lots of serious communication!
DeleteDanny these are very useful tips.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Usha!
DeleteGreat tips. People take communication for granted. There is a huge difference between communicating and talking, people sadly think they are interchangeable.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Maggie! Yes, people take communication often for granted and they end up getting hurt and hurting others!
DeleteYou said it well...talking and communicating are never interchangeable!
Oh and in my case, wait till the laptop, TV and other gadgets are switched off before I communicate with him ;) I sometimes joke that I will put a picture of myself on every screen ,just to get his attention ;)
ReplyDeleteShailaja
Haha! I learnt to stop that a long time ago with my Mrs.! Switch off everything when we want to speak to each other!
DeleteHelpful tips there, Danny. I especially like the one about not interrupting. I often tend to forget that, so it is a good reminder.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Beloo! Yes, we often jump right into the convo when we want to express our views!
DeleteA lot of truth in this. Social media is one dimensional and to have a true relationship you must see facial expressions and body language, have eye contact, and hear the modulations of the voice. You just don't get that on Face Book. While it is great...it only shows one side of a person. Interesting post♥
ReplyDeleteWell said Kathy! It is one dimensional and shows only one side of a person... we've to make efforts to take it outside social media! Thanks for the compliment :-)
DeleteExactly. "1. Never try to discuss important issues over social media." I'm surprised by the number of people who don't already know this. Or perhaps, I don't use social media enough to really rely on it for discussions.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
There are far too many people who prefer to stick to social media for communication and they've no idea that it won't take the relationship forward!
DeleteThanks for the compliment Loni!
Communication is indeed important!! With FB, SMS, WhatsApp, Phone, Skype - I feel people are not good in real communication these days!!
ReplyDelete~S(t)ri
Participant|AtoZ Challenge 2014
Smile, it makes (y)our day!
Well said Stri! Social media has replaced social interaction and actually reduced it...People also can't relate to each other besides social media now!
DeleteCommunication is the key in almost all spheres of life, especially in closer ones like marriage etc. Thanks for the nice tips...A great post..
ReplyDeleteThat's right Jayanta...Thanks for the compliment!
DeleteDue to social media and other professional interactions, we hardly get onto in direct communication inside the home or spending quality time together as a family...Very apt post.
ReplyDeleteYes, too many close relationships have been affected as we speak...COmputers have taken over spending quality time with each other! Well said!
DeleteI always say, the easiest way to be misunderstood is to text! So often things are misconstrued but the medium is a necessary evil! Good topic!
ReplyDeleteAnd how many times have we been all misunderstood! Yes, its also a needed medium! Thanks for stopping by and the compliment Cristina!
Deletewonderful points you have mentioned. Something that we all should take care of while communicating.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rajlakshmi! Yes, we've to make an effort!
DeleteFab, fab points, Danny. I'm nodding my head furiously. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Corinne!
DeleteI have an important feedback to take back from this post...to not talk till other person has stopped talking. I have a bad habit of prompting.
ReplyDeleteWe all have it Sugandha! We are all on the same boat! Great to know that you are taking an initiative not to prompt ;)
DeleteA very helpful post indeed ....most of the times issues crop up because of lack of communication. Good to meet another dentist by profession , author by hobby and reader by passion :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Sushree! Glad to have you on board! Fellow dentist, author and reader ;)
DeleteCommunication is needed in every sphere of our life and mastering it is the key! Thanks for sharing some fab tips, Danny! Discussion of issues over social media is fatal and we all know how it ended for a celebrity recently!
ReplyDeleteTHanks a lot Shilpa! Yes, it can be very fatal to discuss issues over social media!
DeleteI am of the firm view that communication is the answer to all the misunderstandings,irrespective of the relationship one is talking of.
ReplyDeleteSocial Media is only one source,one avenue but thereate those couples who dont even communicate in normal day to day life.By the time such couples reach in thier 50s...they are clueless about one another.
Wow! You've said it well there BK! That's true as days go by without communication, the couple eventually become clueless about each other and there is such a drift in their relationship that it virtually becomes non existent!
DeleteExcellent post! I've visited your blog for the first time today. I enjoy your straightforward style of writing, and the facts that your posts are structured.
ReplyDeleteOn communication, may I add a quote: "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said." - Peter F. Drucker
Thank you so much PI! And you have been going through all of my posts and commenting as well...A big heart felt thank you for that as well!
DeleteAnd wow! Loved that quote! Reading between the lines is a great communication tip!