N for Nurture

6:28:00 PM

I remember reading this marriage joke once where the wife always kept complaining that the husband would never tell her that he loved her. One day after much thought, he looked up at her and said, “I told you that I love you on the day of our marriage. If I ever change my mind, I'll let you know.”


Have you ever spoken to someone who was just about to get married? When they start speaking about their fiancé/fiancée; their eyes pop out, they get all excited and once they start talking they never stop. They only talk about the good qualities.  

Then they get married.

A few years later when they talk to you about their spouse, they are no longer excited, their eyes wander off distracted and the only things that they mostly keep talking about are the bad qualities. 

What happened?
They simply stopped nurturing the relationship and as a result the level of intimacy has decreased.

Former Beatles singer John Lennon once said, “We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You just can't accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You've to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.”

We can't expect our relationship to be as fresh, warm and exciting as when we started without really doing anything about it. We’ve to nurture it so that it grows and blossoms into something more than what it was when it started.

The level of our relationship with any individual depends on the depth of our concern/care for them. If we want to nurture our relationship with someone, we have to truly care for that person and keep working on making the relationship better.

Take Away Principle: 
Our relationships won't grow or remain the same as it was when it started. To make it blossom we've to nurture it.

Tips on Nurturing:
1.      Commit to nurturing the relationship every day. Nurturing requires total commitment.
2.      Look for creative new things to do with them and do it. It doesn't have to be expensive. Some of the most creative things don’t cost money.
3.      Are you speaking to them in their love language? Find out their love language and keep speaking it to them. (Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman)

4.      Have faith in them and in the relationship. Believe that by continuing to invest in them and in the relationship that things will get better.

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  1. Marriage or any relationship need nurturing. Things should not be taken for granted.. Well said.

  2. Such an important thing to do in any relationship. I really love that John Lennon quote. And the book is a must read!

  3. You really do have to work at it to keep it flourishing and happy. Very true that the new wears off. You don't tell each other like you do at first. I have been with my husband for 17 years. He is on the road gone most of the time because of his job. It is easy to think he no longer feels the same way he once did, but then he will say something...or do something that goes to show that the love is still very much alive.

  4. An important message indeed. All relationships need nurturing and constant work.

    Beauty Interprets, Expresses, Manifests the Eternal

  5. Relationships needs to be taken care of and nurtured everyday ...as slowly we can grow together or drift apart . A very good post doc :)

  6. My husband and I needed to take time off work, just to spend it together. With two small children, alone time is pretty much nonexistent. Between chores and work and family, life gets exhausting.

  7. Such a nourishing post, Danny ! Nurturing the relationship is important, because it is important to de-weed and de-clutter any relationship regularly. Love the insight, Doc :)

  8. Every relationship needs nurturing. It needs that water of love and that fertiliser called care to keep it alive and strong. Well said, Danny. Loved the joke at the very beginning :)

  9. Great post Danny! And agreed, every relationship needs nurturing. In a fast paced world like this, it's impossible to keep in touch, which why the the ones that do really matter!

    The 2 AM Writer

  10. In your post 'D for Devoted', you had spoken about the 3 types of relationships: 'Give me', 'Poor me' and 'About you' relationships. It's only the 'About you' relationships that are nurturing relationships.

  11. We have been married 42 years and believe me, there are many phases you go through and sometimes you even repeat some of them. But you still find ways to make it fresh and secure. Nurturing .... is a good word to describe it.

    Carol @ Battered Hope

  12. Every relationship needs nurturing and the efforts must be made from both sides


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