R for Respect

6:42:00 PM

In her book, For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn writes, “While it may be totally foreign to most of us, the male need for respect and affirmation—especially from his woman—is so hard wired and so critical that most men would rather feel unloved than disrespected or inadequate.” The survey indicated that if they had to choose one of the following two situations, 74 percent of men would rather be alone and unloved than feel inadequate and be disrespected. Only 26 percent chose the other way around.”

I believe everybody desires to be respected especially from those they have a relationship with.  As parents, it’s what we all want with our kids; as coaches, we want it with our players; as teachers we hope for it with our students; as employers we desire it with our staff and as people, we want it from our friends and even our spouses.


Respect communicates that we give a person position of high value and worth in our lives. It signals affirmation and shows how much we believe in them. People are willing to reach their highest potential when they feel respected. They are willing to take extra risks and go farther in life simply because deep down they know that there is someone who respects them for who they are.

Giving respect benefits not only the individual but also the relationship. Respect in a relationship is what will build loyalty in the long run.

You have heard the old adage, “Respect is earned.” While that holds true, it’s also true that respect should be given. Many people struggle to get along and give respect with those who are in higher authority because of corrupt character and therefore blame the system. Sadly, this is what is happening in our political realm today. Many have lost respect for our political system.

But when we learn to give respect to their position irrespective of character, it helps us to appreciate the system and thereby work through.

Take Away Principle: Giving respect to someone communicates our belief in them thereby enabling them to reach their highest potential and therefore builds loyalty in the relationship.

Tips on giving respect:
1.      Affirm the person. Tell them how much you appreciate their strengths.
2.      Speak well of the person in front of others.
3.      Listen to them without interrupting.

4.      Even while in conflict, speak respectfully. 

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  1. Something told me you would go for R = Respect, and that something was right !! R=right :D

    Take a bow for this one, Danny. Lovely write up. You have given so much respect to 'respect' ! We need to inculcate this habit of giving respect to every single person ; giving respect is one way of acknowledging an individual's self respect too ! And it is one of the best forms of recognition that we can give. ( R for recognition:D)

  2. R is indeed for Respect... Elder or Younger... Good or Bad... Everyone deserves respect!

    Participant|AtoZ Challenge 2014
    Smile, it makes (y)our day!

  3. Last night, when I was traveling back home by bus, I heard this man speak to his wife with so much of disrespect. I really cringed at the way he was treating her. Spoke a lot about the relationship they must be sharing! :|

  4. I think the interrupting one is the thing that gets me--the being listened to. It's so easy to just nod your head or pretend you're paying attention while thinking up your comeback or focusing elsewhere. True respect comes from giving your full attention to someone when asked.

    True Heroes from A to Z

  5. I like the balance you pointed out between earning and giving respect. The other side of that is we need to work at "getting" respect. I feel strongly about this regarding children. I have heard so many people complain that their children do not respect them -- and when I see how they treat their children, it is no surprise.

    Carol @ Battered Hope

  6. Lovely post about respect...it is something everyone deserves to enjoy. ♥

  7. Great topic on respect. We all should give it and receive the same. AtoZer http://www.writer-way.blogspot.com

  8. Respect...hmmm. Hard earned, and easily lost. Yes, everyone deserves respect, but when it can no longer be given, it's time to rethink the relationship. That's actually the reason why I broke it off with my ex-boyfriend. I worked for my brother and would complain and vent to him every week about decisions my boyfriend at the time had made. My brother said one day, "It doesn't sound like you respect the guy." I realized he was correct, and I was doing a disservice to both me and my boyfriend by staying in the relationship, because I had lost my respect for him.

  9. it matters a lot always! instead of looking down on others n ordering ppl around, if u show a little respect, they will work better :-) respect is important in every walk of life !

    a-z participant

  10. Oh, I am such a firm believer of giving respect to receive it! The act of respect can change everything! Very nice post. :)

  11. Respect is something that everybody wants to receive from others, but something that quite a few people do not give to others.
    Excellent tips, particularly the 4th: Even while in conflict, speak respectfully.

  12. These are very wise words and an interesting perspective on respect, especially coming from a man's viewpoint. New follower from the A to Z Challenge, and really glad I found your blog.

  13. I truly believe that respect is earned and children learn by example. When we treat people with respect, most will treat you back the same way and those that don't well .. time to let them go. Nice one Danny. Enjoying your very insightful posts.

  14. “Respect is earned.” While that holds true, it’s also true that respect should be given."

    This is SO true!! There is a certain degree of respect that every human being should give to another, without expecting it to be earned.

    Love this post, Danny!


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