S for Sharing Secrets
2:20:00 PM
Aidan Chambers
writes, “Everyone wants more than
anything to be allowed into someone else's most secret self. Everyone wants to
allow someone into their most secret self. Everyone feels so alone inside that
their deepest wish is for someone to know their secret being, because then they
are alone no longer. Don't we all long for this?”
In any close relationship, there is almost nothing that they
don’t know anything about each other. They share their deepest secrets with
each other and that’s what makes the relationship unique.
S-Sharing Secrets
Everyone has their own secrets. Big
companies keep secrets believing that’s what will keep them ahead in the
competition. Coca-Cola's famously secret
recipe was invented by Dr John Pemberton in 1886. It is still known only to a
few employees. The formula was stored in a vault at the Trust Company Bank in
Atlanta until 2011 when it was moved into a purpose-built chamber as part of
the company's permanent interactive exhibition, the World of Coca-Cola, in
Atlanta, Georgia.
And in another southern American state, Colonel Sanders
mixed 11 herbs and spices together and rubbed them on a chook. That original
recipe is kept in a vault in KFC's Louisville, Kentucky, headquarters. For
added security, two companies, unknown to each other, produce half the recipe
each.
But there's no information available about where Google
keeps its secret algorithm that has powered its search engine and its
consequent domination of the online world.
When we allow another person in on our
secrets giving them a taste of a plan or an idea, we instantly make a meaningful
connection with them. When we reveal something of ourselves and let them know
that we’re doing it for the first time, it makes that person feel special.
In his book, 25 ways to win with people,
Dr. John C. Maxwell says that sharing a secret is really a matter of two
things: reading the context of a situation and desiring to build up the other
person.
I believe when we share a secret about a
situation that we know with someone in a similar context with a desire to build
up that person, it improves the relationship with that person.
One of the things I do with my wife
everyday is to share with her, first, everything that has happened during the
day and she vice versa. We have had some special times together as a result of
sharing it first with each other. We of course have secrets that we share with
each other no one else knows about.
Take Away Principle:
Sharing secrets with those we are in a relationship
with makes that person feel special thereby making a deeper connection.
1. Be
comfortable with sharing about yourself with others.
2. When
you do share something secretive let the person know that they are the first to
know.
3. Share
something that concerns them and will help them in their situation.
9 comments
Some wonderful secrets about secrets. Not so secret anymore.
ReplyDeleteAha :) You're U for Uncanny , Danny :) ( That rhymes :D).
ReplyDeleteI had expected something like Success or Stressbusters or something...and you come up with secrets.... :) Loved this S for Surprise :D
Well, yes, when we share something secretive with someone, the latter feel special. And we comfortably share something deep only if we're sure he won't judge us based on that :) And sure, it cements a connection :)
Take this S for a Salute ! :)
There is certainly something intimate about sharing our deepest secrets with someone. And yet there is part of me that feels that I want to hold on to something that is only for me, something that I am not ready to share with anyone, no matter how close I am to that person. That is only for me :) Does that make sense? :) Anyway, I enjoyed this post on secrets and sharing/not-sharing them. The Calvin and Hobbes touch was so good :)
ReplyDeleteIf I share a secret, I would hope the other person would want to share with me too. At least that's the aim. For no other reason than a more deeper friendship. Teaching children not to keep secrets sometimes backfires as an adult (like me with foot in mouth disease!)
ReplyDeleteOh yes, secrets are a great way to bond and connect!! I have seen that late night talks with friends always result in sharing some secrets! :D Of course, other than spouse and close family, one has to be careful with whom you are sharing secrets, now-a-days.
ReplyDeleteI love secrets. They keep my individuality alive--and my individuality keeps me sane :) Sharing a secret is a powerful way to establish--and test--trust, but I'd never go for sharing everything with anyone. Not just for my (secretive and hoard-prone) self, but for the recipient: when a secret is truly a secret--i.e., something powerful, painful perhaps, psychologically important--it becomes a burden also for the person you're sharing it with. I don't think that's very considerate.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit over at Life In Dogs :)
A very interesting take on secrets. I had this picture of 2 little girls sitting together in the school playground whispering innocent secrets to each other. Secrets definitely bond but should be wisely shared.
ReplyDeleteI enjoying sharing my day with my fiance. I want him, as he is my best friend, to know first how my day went. It does deepen our connection.
ReplyDeleteSecrets are such a tricky thing, though. They are something that should be shared only when there is 100% trust. And even then, those secrets can be let out of the closet.
After 42 years of marriage, I don't think we have any secrets. We have worked and lived together virtually 24/7 for all these years. Regarding friends, I like to think that I am the type of person that others can rest assured their "secrets" are safe with me and I would NEVER tell. It is all about trust.
ReplyDeleteCarol @ Battered Hope