Playing Santa to My Child

4:55:00 PM

"Santa Claus is coming to town!” was a popular song that I used to listen to growing up as a child. It was not until almost many years later that I really came to know the true meaning of Christmas – it's not about Santa, it's about Jesus!

It's that time of the year again where presents are for everyone and also the time to look forward for new things as we approach the New Year. It also becomes a good time to look back and reflect on what’s happened this past year.

2013 has to be a year which we as a family will never forget. Yes, in the midst of the tragedies that took place we also had our share of good news. Let me break the suspense that I have been building up in the previous posts:

Me and Anu are finally expecting after six years of our marriage.

And that my friend, has to be the happiest news that we've ever received this year! Primarily because we were told by our doctors that it was difficult to conceive with our existing conditions.
I will write a full scale testimony to that sometime next year after we actually hold our baby in our arms!

While pondering over what to write was when I came across BlogAdda's competition in association with HDFC Life on “Playing Santa to your child”. So I must thank BlogAdda for this competition since it really got me thinking about a secure future for our child.

Being expectant parents, there’s nothing like looking forward to setting an atmosphere where our child can grow into a secure future. And after waiting and preparing, I must say for over 6 years, we feel we're finally ready to bring our child into this world.

So what are the five things that I as a parent would want to gift my child so that he/she can have a secure future? Here goes in descending order:

5.     Financial Security:
I had already written a post on building finances earlier. But here is one of the reasons why I want my child to have financial security: I have personally seen some young children not really able to do or become what they want to, simply because their parents did not have the money to do so.

Learning to invest right now for our future generations helps them to go forward faster.

I still remember when I lost my dad while still in college. One of the worries that we had was if I could finish my education. And we came to know later that my dad had taken life insurance policies before he passed away. It really helped us so much that not only did I finish my dental education but also my sister's engineering degree and even helped me to set up my own clinic.

4.     Good Books:
Let me tell you how I came across the importance of reading good books. Dr. John C. Maxwell talks about how when he was a child, his father would put books into his hands. His dad wouldn't reward him for doing household chores but would give him pocket money for reading good books. And ever since a young age, Dr. Maxwell had made it a part of his life to read and overtime it changed his life. He went on to author over 50 bestselling books and is considered a leadership expert. Later he started it with his children and now passed on a generation to his grand children too.

I heard this over 5 years ago and have been into collecting and reading books ever since. It has had a tremendous impact on my life. I do know I want to gift my entire library to my child when he/she is ready for it.

3.   Being present:
In his book, “Confident Parenting", Jim Burns writes, “Being truly present and engaged in your children's life is the best present you can give them."

As a parent, I know that I would want to be present physically and engaged as much as possible. I know of parents who make a lot of money and are socially very active but have no time to spend with their own children. Even being present at certain important events can make a huge difference in a child’s security.

Juan Carlos Ortiz was talking to a circus trapeze performer about the net below him and what it did for him. And the performer said, "Obviously, it keeps me safe. “But,” he said, “let me tell you what that net really does for me. It makes me a better performer.” And Ortiz said, "What do you mean, it makes you a better performer?" He said, "It’s very simple. Because the net is there, I feel secure. And because I feel secure, I’m willing to risk more. I’m willing to try an extra turn, an extra twist. I’m willing to try a trick that I wouldn't try at all, but that security releases me to reach my potential."

Just knowing that the net was present made the trapeze artist secure. Being present brings security. I want to be the safety net that’s always present there for my child.

2.     Unconditional Love:
Yes, I will love my child but I want to love him/her unconditionally. One thing I've noted about people is that they want to be loved. And what makes them secure is when they know that they are loved even if they have messed up.

Isn't it true that we want our loved ones to love us in spite of the mistakes we've made? We want a safe and secure place to run to especially when we have fallen. We want to feel loved when we deserve it the least. We run to those whom we know love us regardless of what we've done. That is unconditional love. And it is this love that makes us secure and confident that we can still go forward in our lives. I want to gift my child with a secure atmosphere filled with unconditional love.

Author David Staal writes, “A child frequently needs an adult to set aside the temptation to instruct or give advice in favor of simply sharing in the moment at hand: a moment that offers a reason to cheer, to laugh, to cry—and always to listen.”

1.     Loving my wife: 
Divorce is getting increasingly common these days. And our culture seems to be moving away from marriage and advocating ‘live-in’ relationships all the more.
In his book, “Say it with Love”, Dr. Howard G. Hendricks writes, “All of my counselling in marriage and family problems can be categorized on the basis of these three situations: failure to truly leave the parents; failure to cleave to the one partner; or failure to develop a unified relationship.”

I definitely want my child to have a secure marriage in the future.
I want him/her to leave us and truly cleave to their spouses. And one way of cleaving is by learning to express their love for each other.
Someone once said that training is better caught than taught. I can teach my child how to love his/her spouse but there’s no better way to train than by living it out in front of them.

I learnt the hard way that my wife’s love language is gifts and I make it a point every year, be it her birthday or our wedding anniversary to gift her with something. On our wedding anniversary this year, I got her this:

We need to learn to express our love toward our spouses the way they want to feel loved. And it’s not the same for everyone. I recommend reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

This post is a part of the 1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda.

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  1. With point no.1 this entry is a winner. Love the pictures, Danny. Good luck!

    1. Thanks Saru!
      Hope your're doing well! All the best to you too!

  2. well written.........a winner........congrats

  3. Nicely penned, Danny! First of all, congratulations to you and your wife. I hope you have a healthy bundle of joy in your hands soon. Loved each point you made. Indeed,there is so much we want to give our children for their happiness and wellbeing. Good luck for the contest too!

    1. Hey Rachna! Good to see you here!
      Thank you so much for your well wishes! Yes, we are really looking forward to holding our baby!
      Yup, there's so much we want to do and give to our children.... good luck to you too!

  4. Danny, 1, 2 and 3 are beautifully placed to achieve 4 and 5. Your baby is going to be very well looked after! Looking forward to hearing the news and all the best for the contest.

    Thank you for dropping by my blog!

    1. Hey Vidya!
      Good to see you here! And thank you! Yes, we are really looking forward to our baby! Will be writing on that soon!
      You have an amazing blog! Plan to be regular there as well!

  5. I missed this one Danny. Congratulations. Wish you and your family, all the best. I guess, you are daddy now. I remember the day my son was born was the happiest day of my life. Time flies. He is an adult now and we inhabit a empty nest!

    1. Thanks Alka! Well, as I write this, we are still waiting!
      I absolutely can imagine what you felt like then!
      Wow! The empty nest scenario sounds fun as well! Must learn more from you, the different stages of life ;)


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