Motherhood - A New Journey

10:57:00 PM

Last month has been one of the most hectic months I have ever been through but in the end, it has definitely been worthwhile! My sister delivered a baby girl! There are few moments in life that are truly unforgettable and this is definitely one of them! I have always believed that you have to love life and this is one of the reasons why!
I am sure you ladies go through a lot to bring out something so beautiful into this world- New Life! And surely, we men have no clue to what you go through! Which is why I want to get out of the way for this post and hand it over to my sister, Hilda!

"Hi there! A couple of months ago, my brother had asked me to write a guest post on his blog regarding my pregnancy. Reluctant due to various reasons, I had declined from doing it then. But today, having completed the miraculous journey of 9 months, I'm glad I have such a forum to discuss what I went through.

Giving birth to a child is nothing new. Millions of ladies have been doing it for centuries and it's how life goes on from generation to generation. So what do I have to say about it that hasn't been said yet? Scary? Exciting? Painful? Worth it? I'm not sure I've got anything new to share but I hope this might be useful or the very least impart hope to a few people.

I've been married for 7 years now and over time, the wait has proven to be long and extremely weary. It was not easy. Living in a country where population explodes by the second and being surrounded by relatives, friends and colleagues, some loving and some taunting, it's extremely easy to feel despair and get discouraged. Not to mention some tall and short stories of ovarian cysts, fibroid and other female ailments which were once scarce but common today. Many a time, motherhood had seemed like a milestone that would remain out of reach.

The first couple of years after marriage, say till 3-4, life was easy. Easy to ward off questions, give answers and let everyone know parenting was definitely not in sight as we had had other dreams for ourselves. To think of the amount of questions I personally had to deal with! "Are you trying? Why are you waiting? Did you get yourself tested for blah blah? How about your husband? Is he all ok?" A lot of the women folk might relate to this, be it your relative or your spouses', YOU are in the line of fire!! The husband might be blessed with a couple of lectures but we, the wives? We get it all. LOL.

Starting off with obvious questions, it gradually turns to solutions for problems that were never faced and finally to declarations that it can never happen. "Oh! You are past 25! It's going to be tough now! Concentrate on treatment! There's a famous doctor and he helped so-and-so get quadruplets! Look at what the relatives are talking about you!" We never took it seriously for a while. But then, it's in an instant that you realize that time and age waits for no one. That realization helped us change on our attitude, perspective and desires.

So, Pregnancy. A scan in my initial years of marriage revealed the cysts I was carrying which was a huge shock for me. I had heard of it, seen people who had it but to realize I had it too was not easy. I know it's not all that bad but we carry a picture perfect image of ourselves, don't we? Well, I was no different. We resorted to ayurveda and well, it helped in a small way. The cysts didn't disappear all together but it didn't enlarge either.  So when it came down to getting pregnant, the cysts were an ignorable subject.That was a huge relief.

Looking back, I know it was only God's hand that carried me till where I am today. Working in software and in Bangalore, I had spent at least 11-12 hours out of home. The stress of the journey (16km one way), and the hours at work could have had a heavy toll for me had it not been for the countless prayers prayed over me by loving friends and family.
What also helped me big time was good nutrition. I know the doctors advise us preggies to eat for two once we are pregnant. But I was convinced by my hubby that nutrition meant a lot more than that. Throughout my 9 months and even today, I am on nutritional supplements. Wait Wait Wait!!! It's not MEDICINE! What helped me and my hubby understand can be found here. I do not intend to elaborate on nutrition in this post. Let me just wind up saying, the info came in just at the right time.

My faith in God shall I put it.."not constant all the time"? It's always easy to forget God in happy times and otherwise, God is the only One on my mind. Be it in anger, grief or resentment. Judge me all you want! The people I am extremely grateful for in my times of disbelief or doubt is my mother, brother and sister. They have helped me get back on faith innumerable number of times and I know couldn't have done it without them. And today, my one prayer is that my God equips me to be a strong pillar for my child to lean on to.

Every morning and night, every week and month, before and after every check up, I would thank God for having made it through safely. I can't say I've cherished every moment of being pregnant. I was preoccupied thinking of  the remaining months I had to complete till I got to hold my child in my arms. And once I was in my last month, I was impatient with a capital 'I'. I just couldn't wait and I secretly thought that the doc didn't know much as she kept saying, "Next week!" every week I went to see her. But I did enjoy exploiting my husband though! Whims, tantrums or getting emotional, poor guy! He did put up with quite a bit! Ha ha!

Today, sitting with a fulfilled desire and feeling renewed, I can say wholeheartedly again,

God is good. ALL THE TIME!  

I've heard my friend say, "Deciding to have a child is like deciding to have your heart walk outside your body". Watching my girl sleep soundly right now, I can say, that is sooo true... I know my journey is not complete (Its just the beginning!)... no mother's journey is ever complete till they die.. For me, every day is a new step forward and it's impossible to get through all the fears and anxieties without my heavenly Father's constant vigilance and my complete trust in Him.

Maybe you are one of those who don't believe in God or you do and you are in a place of doubt. But like my brother has told me a million times, "A testimony is never born without a test". So I'd like to encourage you, whatever you are desiring for, why not try God? What do you have to lose? Dare to stand in faith; for if you attempt to, God will give you the grace to do so.  In closing, I'd like you to reflect on this:

And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

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  1. Hi Danny and Hilda

    Nice post. Every mother's journey is unique and special and tough in its own way. Congrats to have come through it successfully and wishing you lots of moments of joy with the little one :)

  2. Hey thanks Jaish! Will convey it to my sis!

  3. This is such a lovely post. In India, if women don't become mothers soon, they r taunted badly...your sis is a lovely woman, Danny. To go through this and come out of it so beautifully. Congrats on your niece!!!! God bless the family and give you all many many beautiful memories!!!!

  4. Yep, that's true and unfortunately the women have to put up with the brunt of it! Thanks Bhavana!

  5. Its scary isnt it ? The way society just keeps looking to put us down instead of trying to be supportive... anyway, the journey of life has just begun so do convey my wishes. Lots of love and wishes for a great life ahead.

  6. Sadly we find more critics than followers today ;)! You are right when you say that Rosh! Thanks for the compliment too! Will convey it to my sis!

  7. @Bhavana : Thanks so much for your warm wishes! I know listening to some stories, this can seem like a cakewalk.. but to each one, their pain is the worst isnt it? :)

    @Dr Roshan: Thanks a lot! :) The best part is in between all the let downs we invariably end up finding ONE warm shoulder amongst a thousand cold ones!

  8. Hi Hilda,

    Accept my congratulations. You should post the baby's picture here. Thanks for sharing your experience as I am three years down the lane and I get questions all the time. But what you said about diet and family is more relevant here. :)

    God Bless,

  9. @Saru: Thank you! I know how you must feel.. Just rest in the knowledge that all will work out in God's time. Do make most of the knowledge around yourself regarding diet and best practices through all kinds of media available today. I do believe we need to help ourselves a lot too! Let me know if I can be of more help to you.

  10. Amen to the parting thought, Hilda!! First of all congrats to both of you. Second, such a beautifully written bio.. I think God always has an amazing story written for us. Initially I was wondering if you live in the Indian society, with all the description of how relatives and friends pester newly weds for children - this happens only here.. and then I read that you live in Bangalore too, so that explains. :) AND the 16 kms after-thought made me smile. :) I can understand the kind of pressure our near and dear ones put us in, in the name of 'well-meant concern'.
    Anyways, glad everything went fine and a warm welcome to the little lady. :)
    Regards all of you,

  11. Thanks for your warm wishes Punam! Really glad you could relate with me.. :)

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  13. Really nice post... came here through your sis's blog... :) speaks of the joys of motherhood so beautifully!

    Do stop by my blog sometime :)

  14. Lovely! Motherhood is a joy and a blessing, both! And yes of course, God fulfills our needs as lavishly as only he can! The bible verse you used here went well with the post! Be blessed!

    I write here

    1. Thanks Rinzu! Yup only God can fulfil all our desires!


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