John
Steinbeck once said, “Try to understand men. If you
understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never
leads to hate and almost always leads to love.”
How do
you feel when you are misunderstood? Few things are more difficult to live with
than being misunderstood. Sometimes it’s downright unbearable. We carry
feelings of loneliness, frustration, disappointment and eventually resentment.
How many times have we made the statement, “Only if he/she really understood
me.”?
U-Understanding
Father Damien
was a priest who became famous for his willingness to serve lepers. He moved to
Kalawao, a village on the island of Molokai in Hawaii that had been quarantined
to serve as a leper colony. For sixteen years he lived in their midst. He
learned to speak their language. He bandaged their wounds, embraced the bodies
no one else would touch, preached to hearts that would otherwise have been left
alone. He organized schools, bands, and choirs. He built homes so that the
lepers could have shelter. He built two thousand coffins by hand so that when
they died, they could be buried with dignity. Slowly, it was said, Kalawao
became a place to live rather than a place to die, for Father Damien offered
hope.
Father Damien
was not careful about keeping his distance. He did nothing to separate himself
from his people. He dipped his fingers in the pot bowl along with the patients.
He shared his pipe. He did not always wash his hands after bandaging open
sores. He got close. For this, the people loved him.
Then one day he
stood up and began his sermon with two words: “We lepers.....”
The key
for a strong connection in any relationship is in understanding the other person.
Understanding him/her helps us to know them better. We actually form a bridge
into their world getting to know what’s on their heart and mind.
In his
book, “Becoming a Person of Influence”, Dr. John Maxwell says, “To understand
the mind of a person, look at what he has achieved and to understand the heart
of a person, look at what he dreams of becoming.”
Understanding
someone is like opening a door and finding something new. The thing about
people is that when you open one door and discover something you will soon find that there is
another door to open. Understanding people is a lifelong process.
Take Away Principle:
Taking time to understand people helps us to form a
bridge into their world enabling us to from a stronger connection in our
relationship.
Tips on understanding:
1. To
understand someone, focus on their needs.
2. Remember that each person
is different.
3. Take time to understand their backgrounds.
4. Learn about their past.
5. Assess their personality.
