In our day to day lives, the one thing that seems inevitable is our meeting with people. There is
not a single day perhaps in all of our lives where we can say that we did not
have to interact with somebody!
They bring us
the most joy and yet bring us the most pain. They help us to go forward in life
while at the same time they can be the biggest stumbling block. Yet, somehow we
cannot do without our relationships. Deep inside every person is the need to
relate and be with somebody. Whilst this remains a great need, many still
struggle to maintain and sustain healthy relationships.
For this post, I
have included the excerpts of a talk I gave recently:
“............I
was reading about this survey that they took on which they asked the people
what they would like for other people to say to them. What was the favourite
phrase they loved to hear from others? These are the top six:
1. Dinner is Served.
2. Keep the Change.
3. All is forgiven.
4. I’ve missed you.
5. You’ve lost weight.
6. I love you.
Let me ask a
little more personal question: How many of you want to hear someone tell you
that they love you? Now, there’s no need to blush now! Some of you guys are
sitting airtight here!
How many of us
here have been in love? Maybe some of us here are in a relationship and maybe
some of us here are considering one but one thing I know for sure is that it
really sets our worlds on fire to know that there is someone that truly loves
us or admires us!
When I got into
my first year at college, we had this guy that was probably one of the most
innocent and naive guys you could’ve ever met! Every batch has one of them!
Every batch has a smart-aleck guy who does all the mischief and a naive guy who
normally gets to be the butt of all the jokes. So some of the guys including
the smart-aleck in the hostel decided to play a prank on him and decided to
write a letter to him from a girl saying that she had a crush on him. Of course
we had the old fashioned snail mail (letters)! There were no emails, no mobiles
and definitely no whatsapp!
Needless to say,
this friend of ours kept quiet about the letter and just kept reading it. We
sent one, and then sent another and he finally shared about it to one of his
roommates. We even got him to believe that the girl was in our class but didn’t
reveal her identity. He never shared it with anyone else. Once in a while all
of us would get together in his room and try to get it out of him but he was
one tough nut!
Finally we had
an idea! He had a moustache. So we decided to send him a new letter where the
girl asks him to shave his moustache off. We all waited eagerly for him to
receive the letter. One day went by after he read it, two days went by but he wasn’t
shaving his moustache! Finally after almost a week, he asked his roommate about
his moustache and if he would look good if he took it off! By now all of the
hostel guys in our batch knew about the letter! So the roommate pretended to be
casual about it and said that he didn’t know and asked him to try it out.
Another week
went by and that Sunday morning, I will never forget, we were all just getting
up from our sleep when one of the guys literally ran into every room announcing
that he had taken his moustache off! And we were like, “Ah! Finally he did it!”
That morning we
were all in his room and kept asking him why till he couldn’t take it anymore
and admitted that there was this girl! Of course even then we didn’t admit that
we were the ones sending the letter! The smart aleck guy was writing the letter
one day and the naive guy happened to walk into his room and found out about
the letter! And with that the prank came to an end! He took it fine...and we
all had a laugh about it!
When I still
think about the whole thing, one thing stands clear: Everyone wants to be loved.
I am sure
everyone of us at some point, have had people come up to us and say that this
guy or girl likes us and there would be shivers of excitement run through our
hearts!
Everyone wants
to be loved, there’s no doubt about it. Even the angriest, most violent people
want someone to love them. They want someone who would accept them the way they
are.
Someone made
this statement and I think it’s quite true:
“Your
relationships are only as healthy as you are.”
In other words,
if we are to take and evaluate the health of every relationship that we have
today, it’s only going to as strong as we are. If we are warm, loving and affectionate
then we will have strong relationships with those around us but if we are
always angry, grumpy and constantly have a bad attitude then I’ll guarantee
that we won’t have a strong relationship with anyone!
I mean think
about this: would we go and share bad news with someone who is short tempered
especially if it concerns them? No, of course not! Primary reason being we
wouldn’t know how that person would take it. So we keep quiet and don’t bring
it up. In due course of time, there would be many things that would pile up eventually
making the relationship unhealthy.
Everyone wants
to be loved but your relationships are only going to be as healthy as you are..........”
When someone
struggles in his/her relationship, the focus often ends up on the wrongs of the
other person involved. They are quick to chalk up all the negatives as to why
the relationship is not working and point fingers. While
their arguments may be valid, very rarely do they look into themselves and see
if there’s something for them to change.
When a person
begins to look inside himself/herself and makes an attempt to change, the
relationships around them begin to change as well.
A relationship
goes through a struggle when one is not willing to change or adapt. But when we
realize that every relationship we have has the potential to help us change and
become more mature that is when we begin to grow. That helps us to look inside
and change rather than point fingers.
So what do you think? Have your
relationships helped you to change or mature?
