The divorce
rates in our country are on the increase. The numbers are alarming. People are
leaving their marriages because they feel they can no longer cope with their
partners.
While this
remains a sensitive topic in relationships, it still is something which needs
to be addressed. Among all the A-Z that I've written on relationships thus far,
this one we should look to only and only if nothing else works out.
First of all let
me start with the key to not quitting- perseverance. People do change. Before
we quit, we must ask the question, have we really given everything into this
relationship?
Perseverance is
the key to not quitting in a relationship. It often challenges us to change our
perspective and gives us a fresh and a bigger picture.
One of the key
things we’ve to understand is that strong relationships are formed over time
and not in a day. The sculptor who carved Mount Rushmore was once asked if he did a
perfect job of sculpting the faces of the four presidents.
"No," he replied. "The nose of George Washington is about
an inch too long, but its okay. In a thousand years, erosion will make it
just right." Giving time to relationship building is important and that
is why every one of the qualities we've seen in this challenge must be applied
every day. We must believe that the more
we invest into the qualities the more we will see the results over time.
Q- Quitting
So when does one quit in a
relationship?
Marriage expert Dr. David Hawkins
responds to a wife in regard to her husband, “Too many people tolerate too much
abuse in marriage, believing it somehow virtuous to be longsuffering. You
provide a perfect example of the final outcome of tolerating irresponsibility—a
fractured marriage. Please treat yourself in a healthy manner, and in doing so
you’ll provide the greatest possibility for your husband becoming healthier as
well.”
When the outcome
of the relationship we are in damages us and those around us physically, emotionally
and mentally then we should seriously consider quitting.
Take
Away Principle: The key to not quitting a relationship is
perseverance. However even after repeated attempts and over time when the
outcome is still damaging physically, mentally and emotionally then one ought
to consider quitting.
Tips
on quitting:
1.
Every relationship has disagreements. Do
try and talk it out with the person.
2.
Before deciding to quit, take time to
evaluate.
3.
Confide in someone else you trust.
Sometimes an outside perspective can bring new light in the way we look at and
approach things.
4.
Consider if you’ve made mistakes and try
to correct them.
5.
Get into counselling.
6.
When you do quit:
a. Leave
well-don’t burn bridges.
b. Take
time to heal.
c. Learn
from your mistakes.
