A
relationship is like a bridge that connects two people to each other. A bridge
cannot exist if the points are not strong in themselves. All the previous 23
values we’ve been looking at how to build strong relationships with others.
This post and the next is how we build ourselves. Building ourselves helps us
in building strong relationships with others.
“For many
years Monterey, a California coast town, was a pelican's paradise. As the
fishermen cleaned their fish, they flung the offal to the pelicans. The birds
grew fat, lazy, and contented. Eventually, however the offal was utilized, and
there were no longer snacks for the pelicans. When the change came the pelicans
made no effort to fish for themselves. They waited around and grew gaunt and
thin. Many starved to death. They had forgotten how to fish for themselves. The
problem was solved by importing new pelicans from the south, birds accustomed
to foraging for themselves. They were placed among their starving cousins, and
the newcomers immediately started catching fish. Before long, the hungry
pelicans followed suit, and the famine was ended.” – Taken from Bits & Pieces, June 23, 1994, p. 17.
X-Xerox
Recently I
got into conversation with someone who regularly read my blogs. They told me
that the values that I have been writing are great but found some of them quite
difficult to implement. I simply told them to find someone who does it well and
Xerox it from them.
Irish
writer and poet Oscar Wilde once said, “Education is an admirable thing, but it
is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be
taught.”
Nothing
worth knowing can be taught but it definitely can be caught. When we find
people who excel in certain values in their lives and look and model them,
overtime those values become a part of us.
If we were to evaluate every area of our lives,
some of the best things we do today are as a result of learning it from someone
who did it well. We build stronger relationships with others when we relate to
those who are good at building relationships. When we identify the area that we
are weak at and find and model someone who’s good at it; overtime we become
good at it.
Too many people attribute their poor behavior to
others around them: “I did it because I've seen him/her do it.” “If he/she can
do and get away with it then why can't I?” “He/she did the same, you didn't tell them anything!” Sounds familiar? We have often said these as kids, haven't we?
In his book, “The Next Generation Leader”, Andy
Stanley writes, “We have a tendency to
measure ourselves against people around us. They become our point of reference.”
This is why we need someone who is good at the
values we want to develop: so that our references are always worthy of
emulating from.
Take Away
Principle: If there
are values that we find difficult to incorporate into our lives, we need to
find someone who is good at it and model from them.
Tips
on Xeroxing:
1.
Identify
those values that we find difficult to implement.
2.
Find
someone who does it well.
3.
Ask
them if they would take time to teach you.
4.
Spend
time with them watching and learning how and when they do it.
5.
Emulate
them and slowly make those values a part of you.
